Hay Ho, It's a furry dead thing.

So, one morning recently, Little Miss J and P went to feed the guinea pigs as per usual.  Seconds later I hear hysterical screaming.  Oh God, I thought, please don't say that another guinea pig has popped its clogs.  She comes running out of the room shouting "There's a dead foot in the hay.   And I've touched it!".  Puzzled, I had a nightmarish vision of one of our guinea pigs limping around the cage with only three legs and the fourth nestling in the hay bedding. 

Fortunately, Mr J and P was on hand to investigate further.  He reappeared clutching, in one hand, the bag of hay bought from the local supermarket which we keep by the guinea pigs' cage and, in the other, a dried and still partly furry leg of a ....deer - compelete with black cloven hoof!

Yes, a DEER LEG.  Cue more hysterical screaming - this time from me.

Wanna see a picture?  Of course you do.  Here we go:

A close-up *shudder*:

Nestling in the hay:

What horrified and at the same time amused me was the branding: ‘My Little Friend Meadow Hay’, complete with a cutesy image of  a little bunny, hamster and some other small rodent, together with the promise:"hygienic and easy to use".

What's worrying  are the whereabouts of the the rest of the poor creature's grisly remains?  Are we likely to hear of a flurry of similar scarey finds up and down the country?  Perhaps some other junior pet lover will discover wee Bambi's head, or worse, in another bag.  Maybe another family has hit the jackpot and found a brace of venison steaks.  I dread to think!

Mr J and P, the shameless publicity seeking media whore that he is, contacted our local paper and a day later, we were emblazened across their website.  A day after that and we were featured in the Mail online.  And, this week, Mr J and P and Little Miss were front page news in the local paper and on bill boards outside every newsagents.  They were even featured in the revered publication that is Guinea Pig Today.

Yup, it's all happening here. 

We had to laugh at the Daily Mail readers who accused us of being greedy because we "wanted compensation" and that we should "get a life" (yes, I'm talking to you Bunty of Ipswich).  What a cheek!  Er yes, a bag of hay, preferably without a rotting deer leg, would be nice!

Hay ho, gotta go, deer readers! (that was rubbish, sorry; feel free to come up with better puns in your comments).

BREAKING NEWS: The nice Mr Supermarket man has just sent us some vouchers as compo. Hoorah!

What a corker!

For a couple of years now I've been collecting corks.  Yes.  Corks.  I know.  I sound like some mad collector who collects mad things like bus tickets and car tax discs. 

When I mentioned to Mr J and P that there were people on this earth that collected car tax discs (it's called velology, btw), he became worryingly excited and  even (and this is very disturbing) suggested that one could string tax discs together to make festive bunting.  Facetious little bugger, no?  *raises eyes to heaven*.

Anyway, where was I?  Corks.  Well, for once, dear readers, there was some method to my madness.

I'd discovered this hideous pic in a skip some time ago but it really was the frame that I was after. 

I sprayed the frame black and got sticking my rather large collection of corks on the hideous pic and......

Wowsers Trousers!  I've only gone and  made a cork board.

215 corks were used in the making of this!

I alternated rows of wine corks with rows of cava corks
 split in half - just for the hell of it
and because we appear to drink a lot of cava 

And then, just because I was rather enjoying the gluing and sticking down (very therapeutic, I'll have you know), I stuck some of my vast collection of buttons onto drawing pin heads (loads of examples of these on th'internet):

I even raided Little Miss J and P's lego collection (again) and stuck a few of those on the pin heads.  Unfortunately, these were less successful and only one survived.  I'll have to do more.

I love it! 

Lovely, lovely corky shmorky boardy......

Well, that's enough creativity from me for a while.   I'm off on holiday next week.  To Berlin.  I cannot wait.  Yes, I'm going to miss the whole Diamond Jubilee hoo haa.  Not that I care a hoot because it's actually MY birthday.  Yeh, Queenie, MY great big fat 50th birthday.  So there!

Auf wiedersehen xxxxx


Linking with Lakota's Ta-dah Tuesday.

Stuck in a Timewarp

Yes, that's me.  Stuck in a musical timewarp to be precise. 

We've been listening to Absolute 70s on the radio at work.  70s music all day.  Marvellous.

Now, I'm not at all embarrassed about knowing a lot of the music but really.... the fact is...that my colleagues think I'm some sort of 70s music guru.  I know! *slightly exasperated*.

They've taken to asking "Loo, what's this one?" and when I tell them and I'm inevitably right, they turn to each other in almost reverential wonder and say things like "She's got it right again!" and "She's not got one wrong today!".

That is what I'm finding embarassing. 

Blimey, dear readers, I've not had so much attention in years!

One last little work-related snippet before I toddle off.  There is a woman at my work called Barbara Job.  Her email signature is B Job.  She is the Secretary in the Department of Adult Oral Health.....

Just thought I'd share that little gem with you m'dears.

Love and Peace.  xx

I'm in Love

Warning:  This post has a smug, self-satisfied air to it (sorry peeps).

So, last Saturday, I mosied on down to a jumble sale - one which I'd been to several times before.  It wasn't the best one - very little on offer.  Not a sausage on the bric a brac tables.  So I wondered over to the linens table.  I clocked the rather stern looking lady manning it who has a tendency to overcharge and started to rummage.   I picked up yet another embroidered table cloth and had to remind myself:

a.  I don't do table cloths (mainly because I hate ironing) and

b.  I have enough embroidered pieces to make my embroidered patchwork cushion that I've mentioned here .

when I noticed what looked like a VINTAGE PAISLEY FEATHER EIDERDOWN *inhale deeply.... exhale slowly and relax*.  I sidled over to it and gingerly picked it up.  I say "gingerly" because I really expected it to be:

a.  a bit mankey and

b.  possibly a bit pongy.

I nabbed it anyway.  And I'm so glad I did because:

a.  (what is it with these a's and b's?) the old bat, behind the table who has a tendency to overcharge, charged me (wait for it) a.......whole.........30p.  Yes, that's 30 of your mere PENCE

and

b. it's in brilliant nick and it looks even better now that I've washed it (fyi, at 30 degrees, low speed spin and tumble dried on a "warm" setting.  The trick, apparently, is to dry quickly otherwise the feathers get all clumpy).

Aaah, lovely, lovely eiderdown.

Mmmmm.  So plumptious in its peachy pink perfection.  No, I'm not talking about you, Mr J and P, *heavy sigh*.

Little Miss J and P doesn't want anything to do with it.

Me:  Would you like it on your bed?
Little MJ&P:  No, I really wouldn't, mum.  It's disgusting.

There is no pleasing some people.  There really isn't.

Meanwhile, Mr J and P is very happy having spent a quid on two pairs of shorts and a packet of unopened tent pegs.  The latter will, no doubt, come in handy this weekend as we're off camping yet again.  Gluttons for punishment methinks.

I may be sneaking in my lovely, lovely eiderdown as:

a.  I'm fed up of being cold and wet (we are having terrible weather in the UK)

and

b.  I can't bear to be parted from it.

Love you loads. xx


Linking up with Lakota's Ta-dah Tuesday.

The only campers in the field

Joy of joys.  It's actually sunny this morning and tomorrow, we've got a jumble sale to go to.  What could be better!

On our first camp of the season to Devon last weekend, heavy rain, high winds and cold temperatures were very much in evidence.  It was soooo windy one night that the tent was flapping like errrrr.... a big flapping thing and as I was trying to sleep, the sides of the tent kept bashing me in the head.  So annoying.

We were the ONLY campers in the field on the first night:

Yes, the blue speck in the distance is our tent

The second night we were joined by more campers including some youngsters who were celebrating a mate's birthday.  Good grief, their music was LOUD.  Mr J and P sidled up to them at some point and said "It's a bit loud isn't it?".  Well, that did the trick. They were at it (loudly) until at least 1.30 am.  So I'm told.  Fortunately for me, I managed to get to sleep, despite the noise.  Contemplating future patchwork projects (I kid you not).

Little Miss J and P NOT riding the waves as there was no wave action to be had

The next morning, people had obviously complained to the owner of the campsite as she had asked them to leave.  At one point, three lads came over and actually apologised for the all the rumpus that they'd caused. I looked at them rather sternly and said "Well it was a bit loud." (I like the way that both Mr J and P and me said "a bit" when what we really meant was "ear splittingly").   As they scuttled off to apologise to our neighbours, I found myself saying "Good music though".  Mr J and P did not find that very funny.  He should think calming thoughts of patchwork fancies if you ask me.

Some old biddy on a bike wearing the most hideous anorak in creation

A poor, exhausted child after miles of bike riding

Little Miss J and P up a pole

Little Miss J and P with a blue tongue

Talking of calming thoughts.  We once had a yoga teacher (German, eccentric, very touchy-feely) who used to pair us up and get us to  massage each other.  Not so calming for us *cough* shy and retiring types.  I mean.  Massaging complete strangers.  Not my thing.  Fortunately, I always paired myself up with Mr J and P.  Anyway, her brilliant catchphrase was "Sink...Sag.....Sigh."  I love it!

Where was I?  Aaah yes.   I must thank some fellow bloggers who, some time ago now, sent me parcels of sheer joy.

Look what the lovely Scarlett sent me:

The beautiful blue felted brooch was made by her own fair hands

OMG.  It's a flask to add to my ridiculously large collection:

The amazing Kylie sent me this parcel of wondrous items all the way from Australia:

I love this crocheted bag (a much deeper blue in real life) and its boomerang like handles:

 Lovely apron:

Lovely necklace:

The beautiful Amanda sent me this gorgeous purse which I love love love:

Bunting:

And look what Amanda's hubbie, Spencer, made:

The most gorgeous candles and they smell divine too.

Aren't bloggers (and their hubbies) great?

I'm off out tonight to meet up with a friend that I bumped into last week after 18 years.  And do you know the odd thing is she actually lives about a mile away from me!

Have a good one. xx

Snooping

I do like a good snoop around people's homes don't you?

Of course you do!  So, while Grandpappy was away in Western Australia, I had a good poke about his house and I've taken a few pics just for you.  I know, I know, I'm just too good to you.

I hate to shatter your illusions of me but I'm a bit of a domestic slattern.  However, even I would be keen to do a bit of dusting if I had these rather glamorous looking ostrich feather dusters:

I could even get into a bit of rug beating if I had this pair of rug beaters which the Grandpapster has displayed on his wall:

I like this rather large copper receptacle which is also displayed on the wall:

I love this thingymajig don't you?

This my favourite drawer in the house:

My favourite tin:

Egads! A yummy suitcase:

And inside - Mr J and P's toys when he was a little boy:

Another yummy suitcase in pink:

The only surviving piece of vintage wallpaper in the house (in the cupboard under the stairs).  When I first started going up to the house in the Lake District, there was rather a lot of gorgeous 70s wallpaper in evidence.  Sadly, this is no longer the case.

Grandpappy's mother (so that's Mr J and P's grandmother), Gladys, was a keen painter of flowers.   She started painting in her 60s!

Not only was she a talent painter but get a load of her amazing quilted stuff:

Cushions:

Bedspreads made from very small hexies.  Lordy, must have taken her absolutely ages to do:

More teeny tiny hexies:

Oh and look what Mr J and P's brother made:

Yes, that's a pic of the old ginger wino himself, Mr J and P.  How sweet.

Have a great weekend.  I'm off, any minute now, on a 50th birthday (not mine) weekend away with 17 other females.  God help me.

Cheers m'dears. xx