Friday 3 May 2013

The incident of the pickled peppers

Recently, I found this in our kitchen cupboard. 



A very "innocent" looking jar of pickled peppers with a dainty cloth cover.  I think you can tell how this story is going to end already can't you? 

At first, I couldn't think where I'd got it from because it's not something I would normally buy.  Then I remembered that Mr J and P's bruv and partner make jam and chutneys for their boys' school fete and sometimes give us a jar or two.  So I naturally thought it was one of theirs.  They also have an allotment and I thought aaah yes they'd grown some bell peppers that weren't massively successful (they were on the small side) and so decided to pickle them.

Content with this explanation and knowing that Mr J and P's bruv and partner aren't too keen on spicy food, I popped a few on my plate one lunch time to perk up some plain old pate on toast.

So what happened, dear readers, is this.  I popped a WHOLE of one of the "innocent" looking peppers in my mouth, chomped on it, swallowed and then seconds later, all hell was let loose.  The pepper was beyond HOT.  So goddamn HOT that I ate all the yogurts in the fridge, drank all the milk and attacked the ice-cream in the freezer.  They didn't help.  My mouth was on fire and not only that but my legs wouldn't keep still - so much so that I ran up and down the stairs several times.  I almost hit the streets for a jog - and that is something that I'd never do.

After what felt like an age - a very hot and fiery age - the tingling and the fiery mouth subsided but I didn't feel my normal jolly little self for a long old while.  Dear me, that certainly livened up my Sunday afternoon.

What got me was the label on the offending jar. I mean, all it says is 'Pickled Peppers'. 



No indication of how freaking hot they were. As the chili cognosente among you will, no doubt, have already realised, the peppers weren't of the bell variety at all but the "deadly" Scotch Bonnet.  According to wiki, they are "exceptionally hot" (that, I can vouch for) and rate very highly on the Scoville Scale - which is like the Richter Scale for the chilli pepper world. 

A bell pepper

Bloody scotch bonnets.  In Guyana, they're known as the "ball of fire".  I know!


The odd thing is when I questioned Mr J and P's brother and partner about their mislabelling, it transpires that they weren't responsible for trying to poison me at all.  Where did they come from?  Why am I such a complete nincompoop? 

It's completely baffling.....

Any food-related faux pas as ridiculous as mine?  Feel free to share....xx

31 comments:

  1. I try to avoid anything too spicy, I'm a bit of a wimp when it comes to curries and suchlike. I have sometimes come across jars of things which I have no idea about their origin, though.

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  2. That got me laughing out loud....just me in the house and the pooch looking at me in a puzzled way?
    Thanks for the giggle...hope mouth is cooler now...D x

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  3. Oh dear! I've been reading a lot of chilli related incidents lately ... had one myself the other day. NEVER remove your contact lenses after handling chillis! My eyes are still streaming ....

    Love Claire xx

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  4. Argh, it would probably have killed me, I do not take well to hot food. Maybe you'll think again next time you're faced with food of unknown provenance!! xx

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  5. Oh Bless your heart sooo not funny. Glad you have recovered and hope you have thrown the jar away, dee x

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  6. Oh my goodness, I hope that you have recovered now! I remember as a very young child sharing some space dust(popping candy) with my dog. That was entertaining! xx

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  7. I do hope you recovered - did you find out where you got them?
    I remember at my eldest son's wedding, his niece only eighteen months old put her hand in the mustard and licked her hand - luckily great granddad was on hand and gave her some ice cream but she wouldn't eat anything for ages after that.
    Julie xxxxxxxx

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  8. As a hot food hater I REALLY feel for you. Whoever made them should have put a warning on the jar.
    Hope your poor mouth is soothed now.
    Have a great weekend!
    Rose H
    x

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  9. Tee hee I can picture you breathing fire, you poor thing!!!! Sorry it's not funny, it must have been terrible.
    I had an ex-boyfriend, yes very EX, give me on a cracker once a pile of Tabasco sauce. I eat the whole thing, lots of tears.....
    Have a fabulous weekend, no dragon breath.
    Love V

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  10. I like Scotch Bonnets but couldn't manage a whole one. Hope you remembered to put the loo roll in the fridge......yes, there's always one that lowers the tone!

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  11. Oh dear! What an experience!
    Liz @ Shortbread & Ginger

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  12. Lot's of trips to the loo, Loo?

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  13. Glory be - I have laughed my pants off...sorry, I know you suffered and I do sympathise - truly I do - but your description was so funny.

    I love hot and spicy nosh - can tolerate high levels of heat - but even so, am very cautious with scotch bonnets - a teeny bit goes a long way. You must have been in real pain.

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    1. I'm so sorry for your pain and heat but this post make me laughed and just thinking that instead of a bell you got balls of fire: well is just hilarious!

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  14. Thank you so much for this story. I've had a really good chuckle.
    Love from Mum
    xx

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  15. Oh Loo I'm so sorry you had such an unpleasant experience but I laughed so much I nearly dropped my laptop which was balancing on my lap!
    Lisa x

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  16. What a shocker Loo! Love a spot of spice, but a whole scotch bonnet...you should get some kind of award for that!
    When I was about 8 I peeled and pickled some daffodil bulbs...thought they looked like onions, and I loved pickled onions. Lordy I was SO sick! x

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  17. Holy guacamole! Hellfire and custard! You have my sympathy. xx

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  18. I feel really bad for laughing, but I just can't help it! I've chomped many a suspicious chilli and done a cropper, usually when trying to look impressive!!!

    Hope you manage to find another use for them, glad you didn't catch fire!!

    Kate x
    Just Pirouette and Carry On...

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  19. Oh Loo you poor thing, I LOVE hot food, but I would definitely want to choose my moment to down these little buggers!! The running!!!! OMG you must have crammed a week's worth of cardio in half an hour! The first thing I thought when reading this was, 'what happened to the other jars?' Oh dear ... I think there might be quite a few other recipients of the "Pickled Peppers" with similar stories to tell! xo

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  20. Is it bad that I really laughed at this story?! I like hot things but think maybe the infamous scotch bonnet would be too much for me. Great balls of fire indeed! I like Fiona's suggestion of loo roll in the fridge, will have to remember that one...
    I thought your story was going to be that the jar had been in your cupboard for years and the pepper had gone mouldy inside or something - would that have been better or worse? I'm not sure.
    Wonder where the hell they came from?! xxxxx

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  21. OMG, you've just given me such a laugh. I pictured your legs going all conky and you running up and down the stairs. LOL
    Briony
    xx

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  22. That's so funny...I know I shouldn't laugh.....but soo funny! :) x

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  23. Oh my goodness, that's awful (and funny, sorry!)! I hope you've relabelled it!

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  24. arrrgghhhh, magic evil peppers! Super hot food can induce shaking and panic like symptoms, mad isn't it? Horrible, have you chucked the buggers out?

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  25. We have mystery items in our cupboards - I think this is a salutory lesson to us all to check and taste carefully... xxx

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  26. I've just had a great giggle with this story :) Thanks for sharing xx

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  27. Ohhhh nooooooo!! Hahahahaha....sorry I know its not funny! heheheheh! Pooooor you, bet you was on fire!!!! Hope you have recovered! I can remember eating A lavender scone once, thinking that it sounded delicious. After the third mouthful I nearly threw up because there was a very large cluster of lavender in the mouthful!It was like eating perfume! Karen :) xx Thanks for popping by! x

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  28. Just discovered your blog and have been mightily entertained! My partner cut up some hot chilli for a curry once and then indulged in a little - ahem - pocket billiards... He won't be doing that again!

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  29. OMG, nightmare, you poor thing!!! I do feel for you, it must have been agony, but I'm sorry to say I've been laughing out loud the whole time reading this, can just imagine the scene as you've portrayed it all so vividly!
    Gill xx

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