A very "innocent" looking jar of pickled peppers with a dainty cloth cover. I think you can tell how this story is going to end already can't you?
At first, I couldn't think where I'd got it from because it's not something I would normally buy. Then I remembered that Mr J and P's bruv and partner make jam and chutneys for their boys' school fete and sometimes give us a jar or two. So I naturally thought it was one of theirs. They also have an allotment and I thought aaah yes they'd grown some bell peppers that weren't massively successful (they were on the small side) and so decided to pickle them.
Content with this explanation and knowing that Mr J and P's bruv and partner aren't too keen on spicy food, I popped a few on my plate one lunch time to perk up some plain old pate on toast.
So what happened, dear readers, is this. I popped a WHOLE of one of the "innocent" looking peppers in my mouth, chomped on it, swallowed and then seconds later, all hell was let loose. The pepper was beyond HOT. So goddamn HOT that I ate all the yogurts in the fridge, drank all the milk and attacked the ice-cream in the freezer. They didn't help. My mouth was on fire and not only that but my legs wouldn't keep still - so much so that I ran up and down the stairs several times. I almost hit the streets for a jog - and that is something that I'd never do.
After what felt like an age - a very hot and fiery age - the tingling and the fiery mouth subsided but I didn't feel my normal jolly little self for a long old while. Dear me, that certainly livened up my Sunday afternoon.
What got me was the label on the offending jar. I mean, all it says is 'Pickled Peppers'.
No indication of how freaking hot they were. As the chili cognosente among you will, no doubt, have already realised, the peppers weren't of the bell variety at all but the "deadly" Scotch Bonnet. According to wiki, they are "exceptionally hot" (that, I can vouch for) and rate very highly on the Scoville Scale - which is like the Richter Scale for the chilli pepper world.
|A bell pepper|
|Bloody scotch bonnets. In Guyana, they're known as the "ball of fire". I know!|
The odd thing is when I questioned Mr J and P's brother and partner about their mislabelling, it transpires that they weren't responsible for trying to poison me at all. Where did they come from? Why am I such a complete nincompoop?
It's completely baffling.....
Any food-related faux pas as ridiculous as mine? Feel free to share....xx