Thursday 28 June 2012

Hay Ho, It's a furry dead thing.

So, one morning recently, Little Miss J and P went to feed the guinea pigs as per usual.  Seconds later I hear hysterical screaming.  Oh God, I thought, please don't say that another guinea pig has popped its clogs.  She comes running out of the room shouting "There's a dead foot in the hay.   And I've touched it!".  Puzzled, I had a nightmarish vision of one of our guinea pigs limping around the cage with only three legs and the fourth nestling in the hay bedding. 

Fortunately, Mr J and P was on hand to investigate further.  He reappeared clutching, in one hand, the bag of hay bought from the local supermarket which we keep by the guinea pigs' cage and, in the other, a dried and still partly furry leg of a ....deer - compelete with black cloven hoof!

Yes, a DEER LEG.  Cue more hysterical screaming - this time from me.

Wanna see a picture?  Of course you do.  Here we go:



A close-up *shudder*:


Nestling in the hay:



What horrified and at the same time amused me was the branding: ‘My Little Friend Meadow Hay’, complete with a cutesy image of  a little bunny, hamster and some other small rodent, together with the promise:"hygienic and easy to use".

What's worrying  are the whereabouts of the the rest of the poor creature's grisly remains?  Are we likely to hear of a flurry of similar scarey finds up and down the country?  Perhaps some other junior pet lover will discover wee Bambi's head, or worse, in another bag.  Maybe another family has hit the jackpot and found a brace of venison steaks.  I dread to think!

Mr J and P, the shameless publicity seeking media whore that he is, contacted our local paper and a day later, we were emblazened across their website.  A day after that and we were featured in the Mail online.  And, this week, Mr J and P and Little Miss were front page news in the local paper and on bill boards outside every newsagents.  They were even featured in the revered publication that is Guinea Pig Today.

Yup, it's all happening here. 

We had to laugh at the Daily Mail readers who accused us of being greedy because we "wanted compensation" and that we should "get a life" (yes, I'm talking to you Bunty of Ipswich).  What a cheek!  Er yes, a bag of hay, preferably without a rotting deer leg, would be nice!

Hay ho, gotta go, deer readers! (that was rubbish, sorry; feel free to come up with better puns in your comments).

BREAKING NEWS: The nice Mr Supermarket man has just sent us some vouchers as compo. Hoorah!

34 comments:

  1. Yuk.... well supose it makes life interesting!
    Like you said ...where is the rest of it?

    We do have interesting blos don't we!

    Vicky x

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bunty of Ipswich! Don't you just love Daily Mail readers!?
    Anyway, the cloven hoof. Oh. My. God. No wonder Miss J&P was screaming, I think I would have been too. What a liberty, dead wildlife in your hay. Right anawl that you got some vouchers. Will you spend them on hay or some nice fillet steak and a decent bottle of red?
    Very funny indeed, mrs but also rather shocking.
    Love Outraged Of Essex.
    x

    ReplyDelete
  3. OMG! what a yucky thing to find, your daughter maybe scared for life!! lol at least you got some compensation for it and 5 mins of fame :)

    Bee happy x
    Have a delicious day!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Compensation? I should jolly well think so! When I started to read this I was thinking maybe a dead mouse or a mole perhaps but a deer???

    ReplyDelete
  5. Aagh, thought I was having weird deja-vu - I knew I'd seen this story before! How revolting (and that's just the DM readers, they're barking mad). It was probably down to immigrants, everyone knows they take good honest BRITISH deer and chop their legs off, just so they can claim benefits. Broken Britain, I tell you...

    ReplyDelete
  6. That is horrible, I'm glad I'd eaten my tea before I read your post!
    What vile comments from the Daily Fail readers, not that I expected anything less.
    Stick a pin on that hoof and maybe a few rhinestones and you'll have one of those hideous brooches old ladies used to wear.. next week's Ta Dah Tuesday! xxx

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh my! I can imagine how petrified your daughter was when she found that!! Did you go back to the shop where you bought the hey from?
    xx

    ReplyDelete
  8. How the heck did that happen - what happened to quality control? I hope your daughter is not too traumatised!
    June

    ReplyDelete
  9. OMG i think i would have had a right screaming fit if i had found that. That is so sad for the children to find. Well done you for bringing it to peoples attention. Hope you have all recovered. dee x

    ReplyDelete
  10. No need to tell all and sundry really though was there? Just as you have your opinion which you like to share so obviously does Bunty. What difference and does it really matter? But not a very pleasant thing for your daughter. I sympathise for the shock it must have given her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you sure you're not Bunty from Ipswich?

      It's just a funny story, that's all. Thank you for your opinion though. xx

      Delete
  11. I'd be writing to the maufacturer/packer about that too, it's awful.
    I took a short cut down one of the lanes bordering Cannock Chase a few months ago and there was seven deer legs (just like yours) strewn down the centre of the road. As there is a poaching problem I contacted the police who said they'd inform the Forestry Commision. When I went down the same lane a few weeks later they were still there. In 'hind' sight maybe yours was the missing leg?

    Rose H

    ReplyDelete
  12. What a dreadful discovery.Bloody Daily Mail.
    Lisa x

    ReplyDelete
  13. Ewwwwwwwww! Bunty can bugger off, a leg in a bag of hay, ummm no! I'd have freaked out like a funky chicken and demanded therapy, how on earth can you go for romps in the hay now?!

    Hope Miss J&P is over the shock.

    Hubster doesn't think finding a foot in a bag of hay weird at all, which I find weird.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Holy crap that's incredible! Poor mite must have been horrified. Yuk!! x

    ReplyDelete
  15. How horrifying! How did that get through quality control! Hope Little Miss J and P is O.K.
    June

    ReplyDelete
  16. Yikes, that's flippin' horrible. Now, I do like me a nice bit of venison but I'd draw the line at finding offcuts of Bambi in a bag of hay. Makes you wonder how on earth it ended up in there.

    ReplyDelete
  17. appalling.... poor little deer, and poor little miss j & p *shudders*

    wonder if that edition of guinea pig today could ever be featured on have I got news for you??? xx

    ReplyDelete
  18. Eeeek! As for the newspaper incident - that was all Mr J & P's fault, of course! xxx

    ReplyDelete
  19. Too right you should get compensation...we should start a petition right here!! I hope you got LOTS of vouchers...and you are enjoying your celebrity lifestyle!!

    Sarahx

    ReplyDelete
  20. Supermarket vouchers as compo?? Oh deer! OMG I'm so punny!!!
    But seriously that is so feral, how can these things happen?

    ReplyDelete
  21. That is GRIM!!!!! I would have gone straight to the paper too.

    ReplyDelete
  22. This is a fantastic but not suprising example of how the Mail sensationalising things, who would've thought that your local paper and Guinea Pig News most of all would be the voice of reason? Those comments were hilarious, Mail readers argue over ANYTHING! I really hope the deer was dead before the combine came round. Being a country girl and cat owner I'm used to dead stuff - exploded cows anyone? But I remember screaming like crazy at a dead fox. I just saw the comment "anon" left, they can fuck right off xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  23. Perhaps Anon/Bunty should stop reading a newspaper that chooses to publish such small time stories if they don't like them - this would include every newspaper ever,

    ReplyDelete
  24. Now that was a rather gruesome tale, Loo, but oh it made me laugh! Not that Izzy was upset (or you) but the rest of the media circus (including our friend Bunty!) Good grief, tangle with the Daily Mail readership at your peril...
    Love that they got your name wrong too. Good to see standards of accuracy in tabloid journalism are as high as ever.
    Enjoy your vouchers, and your weekend!
    Amused of South Yorkshire.xxx

    ReplyDelete
  25. Ewww! Your poor daughter finding that. Daily Fail readers, especially the ones who comment online are nutters, sometimes I read the comments just to have a chuckle as how outraged they get.

    ReplyDelete
  26. You'd need compensation after that traumatic incident! Thanks for popping over to my blog and for your lovely comments. Have a lovely weekend, Claire xxx

    ReplyDelete
  27. That would've totally freaked me out! Ew!!!

    ReplyDelete
  28. I am the least squeamish person I know and I would have been grossed out at finding that

    I'd love to put all those DM commenters in a room together, bet they'd be a bit different then! And what a total coward to comment here anonymously... pathetic little troll

    ReplyDelete
  29. No wonder your daughter was freaked out, poor kid! You did the right thing, I mean you're going to complain if you find an unexpected chunk of deer in a commercial bag of hay? Doh!

    Those DM commentators are hilarious aren't they? I like the one that wrote: "These things happen all the time in the country". I just asked my Dad who's 78 and a born and bred countryman if he ever came across this before on't farm and he said no. Mind you, the nearest some of those commentators probably get to rural living is when their monthly copy of 'Country Living' flops through their letterbox!!!

    ReplyDelete
  30. *Uhgggg* That is REAlly nasty!
    I have a bunny and always use (Care fresh) & (Timothy hay) Whenever I put my hand in those bags I hope there is nothing weird in them.....
    AND NOW... I have more reason to worry. *lol*
    You just triggered my fears. *HAHAHAHA*
    Here I am thinking of finding a dead mouse and you get a deer leg. *awwww* poor little deer.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Personally i think that you should get compensation.... and lots of it!!!

    It's outrageous that your little girl found this, and that it should have got past the companys quality control!!

    It is something that unfortunately your daughter (and you!!) will never ever forget.
    I thought it was bad enough when I found a caterpiller in my tin of plum tomatoes!
    Urgh...you poor loves :o(

    Honestly. Take no notice of any bitchy comments my lovely.

    Love n hugs,
    Donna xx

    ReplyDelete
  32. That is totally minting!
    I keep thinking about Mr Tumnus from Narnia......
    Why did I read your blog before bed ;)
    Xxx

    ReplyDelete
  33. WHY did I read this while I'm eating my dinner? Blegh! Poor Little Miss, I would have screamed as well! :(

    ReplyDelete