Wednesday, 18 December 2013

I've come over all natural

Recently, Mr J and P told me that our neighbour over the road was going to give us a bottle of Baileys because he had one spare.

Fast forward a week later.  I had to call round to said neighbour for something and after we'd finished our conversation, he said "I've got something for you" and dashed off into the house to retrieve it.  Aah, that would be the bottle of Baileys I thought.  Imagine my poor bewildered little face when he thrust into my sweaty mitts a bunch of bay leaves.

Clearly NOT a bottle of Baileys.

I accepted the bunch of bay leaves with great enthusiasm, declaring excitedly (a little too excitedly I feel) "I LOVE bay leaves!" and toddled off to give Mr J and P the full admonishment he deserves; the deaf old git.

Now, this is the time of year when I get busy making our Xmas wreath.  My major contribution to the Xmas decorating here at J and P Towers.

This year I've come over all natural.  No more the plastic bags wreath of 2010 and 2011 here with its glittery penguins and oversized reindeer.  Gone too is last year's  pompom garlanded wreath and all its paraphernelia.  It's been dismantled and in its place is holly from our very own holly tree and a few sprigs of our very own ivy (which is looking a bit droopy but never mind).

Perhaps I could have added a bay leaf or two eh?

I suspect that this has done the rounds but it was sent to us at work via our occupational health and safety newsletter:
Did you know that…?
  • 31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the Christmas lights were plugged in.
  • 142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all the pins from new shirts
  • 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
  • 19 Brits died in a 3 year period believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
  • One year British hospitals reported 4 broken arms after cracker pulling accidents.
  • 101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.
  • 18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
  • A massive 543 Brits were admitted to hospital over a two year period after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
  • Over one Christmas period 5 Brits were injured in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.
  • In 2000, eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the loo.
Do be careful pulling those Xmas crackers now won’t you?

Au revoir mes amis.  See you in the New Year when I get back from gay Paris...xx


  1. Your wreath is lovely Loo, as yet I've done sod all.
    Can imagine your disappointment at receiving a handful of bay leaves, is Santa bringing Mr J&P a hearing aid?
    Have a lovely xmas and a fab time in Paris. xx

  2. Love the wreath, I saw a stall of them recently and they loook so pretty - I'm not really going to be home much as my home is being repaired over Xmas so I've stuck with an M+S wreath for the time being which can be used year upon year..

  3. p.s Have a lovely time in Paris - so jealous!

  4. flip me! Who'd have thought Christmas could be so darned dangerous or people could be so daft! Love your bay leaves story Loo, it's a classic! Hope you have a lovely Christmas xx

  5. Baileys would have been lovely, oh dear poor you! I will look at Christmas with fresh eyes. Have a lovely and safe Christmas xx

  6. Ooh, I think Mr J and P owes you a bottle of Baileys! Your wreath is very understated and tasteful! Have a great Christmas! X

  7. That is so funny, talk about mishearing something, yes I think you are owed a bottle! Yes, I will be VERY careful with those crackers! :) x

  8. That's the only Xmas decoration we do - stuff foraged from the garden and salvaged from scraps! Yours looks fab.
    Have a top time in Paris! xxx

  9. Funny, my husband loves Baileys and if someone said bay leaves I'm sure he'd hear Baileys too,

  10. Us Brits are a smart lot aren't we?! Have a lovely time in Paris!

  11. A lovely wreath, that story did make me giggle :)

  12. Bay leaves/Baileys, how funny. Have a tremendous time in Paris. Are you taking the deaf old git with you?

    Merry Christmas, Jean x

  13. Well at least you put your 'bay leaves' to good use.

  14. So sorry you didn't get your Baileys but I bet some of the bay leaves will look good on your wreath - being all natural and that! Have a lovely Christmas away. Joyeux Noel
    Love from Mum

  15. Easy mistake to make... The affectionate nickname Cloth Ears springs to mind! Yep, I snag some ivy (can't handle the holly, I'm a wimp) out of the garden and drape it artistically over our pictures. Beats tinsel any day.
    Have a lovely time in Paris, Loo, and happy Christmas! xxxx

  16. I read out your post to Basil and Tom, tell Mr J and P they thought you were at fault, with faulty hearing. We laughed out loud with the Health and Safety list, pulling the jumper over the head while smoking is our favourite. Merry Christmas, I am off now to see if we have spuds ready in the garden for Christmas lunch.

  17. I suddenly feel remarkably intelligent after that list of Xmas disasters. Bay leaves! How disappointing, yet very funny. Have a blast in gay Paris! Xx

  18. "In 2000, eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the loo."

    My sister gave herself concussion when she banged her head on the sink once!

    Have a wonderful time in Paris x

  19. Bay Leaves! Lovely in their own right but not quite the right accompaniment when wrapping pressies!
    Have a wonderful Christmas and New Year.
    Lisa x

  20. Beautiful wreath! I had no idea Christmas was so frought with danger! I shall be on my guard! Have a lovely time in Paris and a wonderful Christmas! xxx

  21. Eh? Bay leaves....I dunno! I'm partial to the old Baileys too - you can't beat it at Crimbo (along with the gin, beer.....) Happy Hols xxx