I've come over all natural

Recently, Mr J and P told me that our neighbour over the road was going to give us a bottle of Baileys because he had one spare.

Fast forward a week later.  I had to call round to said neighbour for something and after we'd finished our conversation, he said "I've got something for you" and dashed off into the house to retrieve it.  Aah, that would be the bottle of Baileys I thought.  Imagine my poor bewildered little face when he thrust into my sweaty mitts a bunch of bay leaves.

Clearly NOT a bottle of Baileys.

I accepted the bunch of bay leaves with great enthusiasm, declaring excitedly (a little too excitedly I feel) "I LOVE bay leaves!" and toddled off to give Mr J and P the full admonishment he deserves; the deaf old git.

Now, this is the time of year when I get busy making our Xmas wreath.  My major contribution to the Xmas decorating here at J and P Towers.

This year I've come over all natural.  No more the plastic bags wreath of 2010 and 2011 here with its glittery penguins and oversized reindeer.  Gone too is last year's  pompom garlanded wreath and all its paraphernelia.  It's been dismantled and in its place is holly from our very own holly tree and a few sprigs of our very own ivy (which is looking a bit droopy but never mind).

Perhaps I could have added a bay leaf or two eh?

I suspect that this has done the rounds but it was sent to us at work via our occupational health and safety newsletter:

Did you know that…?

• 31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the Christmas lights were plugged in.
• 142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all the pins from new shirts
• 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
• 19 Brits died in a 3 year period believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
• One year British hospitals reported 4 broken arms after cracker pulling accidents.
• 101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.
• 18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
• A massive 543 Brits were admitted to hospital over a two year period after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
• Over one Christmas period 5 Brits were injured in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.
• In 2000, eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the loo.

Do be careful pulling those Xmas crackers now won’t you?

Au revoir mes amis.  See you in the New Year when I get back from gay Paris...xx